Happy Parents Happy Kids

Many countries (except the United States) celebrate Día del Niño (Children's Day) one day a year. Even China and Japan. A great day for a child to just feel special no matter what is going on around them. With Mother's Day here and Father's Day around the corner, these days are wonderful to celebrate as an entire family. Recently released by the U.S. Census Bureau this past November 2009, there are approximately 26% of children (21.8 million children) living in a single parent home in the U.S. Not many have the privilege to celebrate Mother's Day and Father's Day with both biological parents. In 2008 California Healthy Marriage Coalition surveyed 2,500 Californian adults and within them, "69% of previously divorced respondents believe their own divorce 'negatively affected their children' to some or to a great extent."

Michael Reagan's Definition of Divorce (son of Ronald Reagan):
"Divorce is where two adults take everything that matters to a child---the child's home, family, security, and sense of being loved and protected--and they smash it all up, leave it in ruins on the floor, then walk out and leave the child to clean up the mess." 

Who role models good communication skills to children?

Almost all the couples we have met in our workshops that are parents, are concerned with their role modeling. Many parents don't want to be a defective example to their children. Yet our own parents didn't know the best communication skills and we learned from them how to talk in our interpersonal relationships.

One of the most valuable benefits that can come out of investing in a marriage, is the opportunity that it gives children to grow up with plenty of resources to nourish them. Parents that invest their time in marriage education, not only become good listeners and communicators to their spouse, but they also become good listeners and communicators to their children.

What do the kids get out of an investment in your marriage? 

• Love

• Financial Support

• Security

• Self-Esteem

• Attention

Our Son.

Our experience with our 4-year-old son that was diagnosed with a mild autistic disorder at the age of three has been an incredible one. He has improved exceptionally. Some of his service providers make statements that he doesn't have autism. Our son's success has only been possible through the love and priority we have given him. By fostering good communication and respect for each other we've been able to help our son reach his potential.

Although we put him as a priority, our marriage never has taken the back seat. In order to provide our son with the best intervention possible and maintain our marriage, we continuously work at it on a daily basis.

Happy Parents Happy Kids.

When we hit our bump in the road and we didn't know how to communicate, our son was our glue to never speak or behave disrespectfully in from of him. When we had poor skills and used sarcasm, criticism, sneering, and those mild attempts to irritate .... our son would catch us. Those moments were embarrassing because we wanted to behave like adults, not operate with defensiveness. Our son has taught us patience, positivity, humor, and given us unconditional love. 

Yesterday morning at breakfast time our son was near us when we gave each other a big kiss, and he embraced us by hugging our legs and said "kiss, kiss." We see he is most happy when we have our daily "family hugs" after school. All three of us cuddle and kiss each other's cheeks, then relax with our arms still around each other. A moment when he says, "I'm so happy."